5 Quick Lessons From Rooney vs Camera

Posted on April 7, 2011


1] The Football Association doesn’t retrospectively punish

It will impose suspensions when a fine would be more appropriate. And act without precedent. But it doesn’t retrospectively punish for actions already dealt with. So this isn’t about the elbow to James McCarthy. Clearly.

2] Rooney’s back in the good books

For the first time since he started window shopping around the other clubs, the fans are coalescing around Rooney and defending his right to yell at conveniently placed microphones. It probably helps that he’s starting to find the net too.

3] Whatever you say or do, Harry Redknapp will have an opinion

“Why do these young players have to be so angry with the world” says Harry Redknapp. After the wild successes he oversaw yesterday, it’s certainly arguable that he should have been focusing on more important things than Rooney’s language at the time. But I’m sure the preparations for the big game were in the back of his mind, and it was this preoccupation that gave him a nasty case of selective amnesia:

4] There were actually people using Wayne Rooney as a role model

Apparently there were people teaching their children to revere this adulterous, mercenary, perpetually angry dickhead. Any parents trying to teach their offspring that he is anything other than a cautionary tale should have their genitals revoked.

(In the spirit of balance, the last big sweary event was the Champion’s League 2 years ago with Drogba. He at least sought out the camera to swear into, but he didn’t deserve to get banned either and he’s also a massive cock).

5] Swearing is to be seen but not heard

It’s a passionate game and trying to remove swearing is a crap idea. It seems that the FA has decided that, so long as any off-colour words are kept out of audible distance from a microphone, it’s OK. If you want proof, just wait for the cavalcade of inactivity in response to Crouch’s very obvious swearing after being sent off against Real Madrid:

Everyone knows that the same and far worse is heard on the terraces and in pub and living rooms up and down the country. So one option is to go the whole hog and start dishing out on the spot punishments for players (yellow cards and fines) and fans (ejection and bans) to make the whole sport more family friendly. Or we accept that players showing emotion is a good thing, and possibly try not to put a camera in their face directly after such huge moments. Speaking of which, why was their a microphone there to begin with. A camera is understandable but the microphone just suggests that the broadcasters were hoping to catch something unsavoury.

And you know what, it stinks. The numerous badly bleeped replays are a testament to how much the broadcaster cares about protecting the ears of the innocent. It was the player’s fault the first time it was televised. What about the second, third, fourth or fifth? I’m happy to be corrected but it sounded to my ears as if the volume had been turned up for the MOTD showing. And if I were to post it here, it would be my fault for posting it and your fault for playing it. But, of course, I wouldn’t do that.

I think of the children.


And I'm not the only one

Banner image via americanistadechiapas at Flickr
Posted in: Man Utd, Tottenham